Donna’s Story

I was born with the innate drive to do things my way.  As an adult, I have learned that sovereignty, autonomy, authenticity, self-love and natural curiosity are an extension of this spirit. This is how I live to tell my story.  Having come through the cyclone of grief, divorce and an interesting childhood, at the age of 39, I found myself in front of the most profound messenger and teacher of my life: Cancer. Eighteen years ago, in one intractable moment, the world I knew had shifted. I recall the slow hesitation of the voice on the other end of the line, only to be plunged into a raging, dark ocean of fear.  For days, I cycled through confusion, denial and the depths of doom, the evidence-based, predictable kind that comes from textbooks and educated individuals who, by virtue of their credentials, knew more than I could about this prognosis.

Thinking of my four young children became painful, and I could not imagine their lives without me.  For a mother, the ultimate window of power comes through the eyes of their children. They helped me to remember why I wanted to be here and why I needed to become the mother they deserved.  It was a place to begin, to remember that I had a higher purpose here, and it would be lived through my wholeness and not through fear. 

Perhaps it was my strong will, my determination or simply my ego. I am really not clear still, but I knew I no longer wished to be ill. I also knew I could not live inside the body that would be salvaged from the surgeries and radiation proposed.  I chose, in a moment of awe and hope, to do things my way!  Easy, right…not so much…not yet! Was I really going to take this risk? Should I follow the path of others, just hunker down and play it safe?  Was that life? Was this bravery or selfishness?  The echoes rang in a cacophony of voices, input it seemed, from every person who ever set eyes on me. Until it stopped.  It stopped when I looked deep into my own knowledge and asked the questions to me, and only me, the only person who could make this work!

The idea that I live my life to make others feel secure was no longer something I could trust.  Looking at my core values as if my life depended on them, I realized that only I knew “what is” and “what is not” a life!  In this knowing, to my surprise, the answers came flooding through me in loud, clear impulses; while not conventional, they felt right.  This was the beginning of learning to love and trust myself in a whole new way.  A bravery in the form of confidence, love and compassion for me.  My journey to healing mind, body and spirit was not without it’s roadblocks and drama as I began to hold space and move forward with the possibility of health as my primary intention.  Each choice I made that was heartfelt and fully aligned with this potential led me to new experiences and individuals that broadened the landscape of recovery. Living up to this challenge called for stretching the self, setting a clear intention, ditching limiting beliefs, being free of the good opinion of others and focusing on the creation of love in the form of my own well-being.  

Over time, I lived my promise to myself to be present for myself and my children for every second I had remaining, to be happy, to chill out, to forgive, to dream as if it were real right now and to see the good in myself and others. Gradually, the pain subsided, and through fits and starts of successes and pitfalls, I slowly made my way toward my desires. At the age of 43, I gave birth to my 5th child, my very own miracle and undeniable “proof” for me that I had co-created this gift called life.  My immersive experience into my “self” was not always easy, it wasn’t an immediate transition. What mattered most was knowing, without a doubt, that I did have a choice. I allowed myself to dream, to be real, to slip up and to come back to my essence.

Today, I live in my dream book world, surrounded by the things and experiences that make me happy. Occasionally, as a human having this experience of ongoing refinement,  I am pulled out of this “happy space” by my ego, but never for long. I have limited capacity to feel “yuck” these days, so I notice quickly and simply allow my higher self to speak through me. I am reminded quickly of the pathway home. 

It is my intent and purpose to live the life I have been given to its fullest and to share this vision of understanding, hope, bravery and resilience with anyone who is ready to imagine possibilities in their own life.  Through this voyage and this experience of expansion, I am forever grateful to have been sent the ultimate messenger, to have navigated this journey, and to land upon this moment where I may share this adventure as an example of transformation and love.

Donna lives in Bancroft on her sanctuary at Aryhart Lake.  She lives her dream of having nature at her doorstep, waking to the sound of the loon calls, diving into a crystal clear lake and hiking daily through her trails alongside her trusted guides and companions.  “Every day I wake, before my feet hit the floor, no matter how I feel,  I give thanks, I am here to create this moment as I wish it to be.” Life is good, and even when it does not feel that way, I consciously notice, move faster through the emotion, and actively create a better feeling.  I don’t expect perfection because that is not real, nor is it what I believe we truly need.  I embrace the challenges and the never-ending change that life is. I remain focused on the wonder, connection and light inside of me and surrounding me.  My children and grandchildren bring great joy. My animals keep me grounded. Nature is an essential part of my “remembering” that I am never alone and that I am deeply connected to all that is.